Here’s my solution to our vexing problem with gun violence.
We have heard the calls from many on the left for an assault
weapon ban, or a restriction on the sale of certain types of ammunition.
And on the right, there has been talk of arming teachers and
school administrators. Some have even
suggested teaching youth to gang rush armed attackers.
Each side fervently believes in their position. And each position is entrenched, ossified in
some cases, particularly those who feel that teachers, busy with grading exams
and quizzes, as well as doing class prep, should find the time to hit the
shooting range in order to maintain their rating.
This is just not the solution. We can’t rely on the teachers, the
principals, the school nurses, even those dastardly lunch ladies, to defend our
children.
We can, however, teach individual rights, and self-defense,
by arming our children.
The little buggers can do it themselves. They already program our tablets and phones,
and run the damn electrical grid we call our wireless network.
So what’s a few million more guns in the hands of pint sized
pistol packing pre-teens.
Barbies?
What six year old wouldn’t be happy to carry a fully loaded
automatic in her backpack.
Practice?
What ten year old wouldn’t trade in his lacrosse stick for a
Bushmaster.
I’m proposing that Apple and Samsung work together with
Glock and Smith & Wesson to build a iGlock or a S&WGalaxyS3. Imagine the potential for such an item. With tracking capability, students would be
able to learn geography, engage in physical education training, and work on
that all important hand/eye coordination.
We’ve long ignored the potential for providing weapons
training in elementary school. The time
is right, the opportunity is before us, and our children are waiting, clamoring
even, to wrap their hands around a shiny new toy.
Just ask them. After
all, more than a new outfit, nothing says well dressed child better than a
holstered pink pistol strapped to jeggings.
Go, NRA!
